Submission in Marriage: Piper's six helpful negatives
In chapter 8 of This Momentary Marriage John Piper makes six observations of what true biblical submission of a wife to their husband isn't, based on 1 Peter 3:1-6.
1. Submission does not mean agreeing with everything your husband says.
2. Submission does not mean leaving your brain or your will a the wedding altar.
3. Submission does not mean avoiding every effort to change a husband.
4. Submission does not mean putting the will of the husband before the will of Christ.
5. Submission does not mean that a wife gets her personal, spiritual strength primarily through her husband.
6. Finally, submission does not mean that a wife is to act out of fear.
Instead, Piper positively defines 'submission as the divine calling of a wife to honour and affirm her husband's leadership and help carry it through according to her gifts.'
He has masses more helpful things to say about marriage, husbands and wives but you'll need to read the book for that: This Momentary Marriage; John Piper (2009). Free e-versions are usually available at www.desiringgod.com.
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