Glad you asked - contraception, sex and money

Glad you asked - contraception, sex and money

Here's the notes, as typed up by a student live, to the latest '20 questions in 2 minutes'!  This time I only managed four!

Contraception – should Christians use it?

On this I’m yes – Christians should feel free to use contraception if as a married couple (so I’m saying sex is for marriage – to be clear) together agree.  Sex is about, but is also more than just about, making children.  So sex without the intention or probability of children is something the Bible would encourage – such as was always the case with couples who biologically were unlikely to conceive because of age or infertility.  That’s because sex is also about intimacy and joy and love and unity.

But choose your contraception with care.  Some contraception works post conception.  For example the morning after-pill and coil and some forms of the pill which work by preventing implantation in the womb of a fertile egg.  These types I’d say a Christian should avoid.  The reason being that the Bible’s view is that life starts at conception - Psalm 139 talks about us being ‘knitted together in out mother’s womb’ and, perhaps the defining feature of ‘life’ – that God ‘knew us’ at this stage.  So contraception that works pre-conception a Christian should feel the liberty to use – like condoms.  Contraception post conception be aware.  Think about it.  Make your own decision but don’t blindly assume all contraception is the same.

Is the Bible anti-sex?

Sex is mostly about God!  You need to know that if you are to have any framework to understand sexuality and sexual intercourse and marriage.  Unless we get that we won’t get sex; nor will we have good sex, or at least not as good as God wants it to be.

This will be tough to explain in 20 seconds!  Let me get you thinking about it this way:

Something’s value is shown by how quickly, and to who, and in exchange for what, we give it away.  By those criteria, society encourages a very low view of sex.  Media shaped perceptions encourage us to view sex as something to be given away reasonably quickly and cheaply and over our life to a variety of people.  I saw a recent article is a lads’ mag suggesting a man should expect sex on the first date if the date has cost him more than £100.  All sorts of wrong in that article but it is the direction our society is moving in – sex is not a valuable thing, more like a plastic cup or tuppa ware bowl than a precious gem to be handled with care and given to someone who can be trusted with it. 

In contrast the Bible has a high view of sex.  Very high.  So high it is one of the primary and fullest human expressions of the unity and love of God as trinity!  Maybe you’d not realised but understanding sex, and having good sex means having good theology!!  God is one God of three persons.  God makes marriage to represent this – one unit (marriage) of two different people (husband and wife).  The unity and diversity of marriage displays the unity and diversity of God.  Marriage is mostly about displaying God.  Sex is reserved for marriage as the most intimate physical, emotional, joyful, creative unity of diverse people.  Sex is about displaying God.  Sex in marriage shows the joyful, loving, creative reality of the trinity.

So the Bible is deeply pro-sex.  Deeply, profoundly, majestically pro-sex.  God made sex as a pinnacle of displaying himself in creative, joyful oneness.  And because the Bible gives us the truest view of sex – precious, valuable, important, purposeful, God-centred – the Bible also gives us the context and relationship of sex – marriage.  So the Bible is way more pro-sex than society.  Get into Genesis 2 – that’s the best sex manual you’ll find.

What’s more important going to church or how we live?  Which one makes a Christian?

Well neither makes you Christian.  Ephesians 2 says ‘that by grace we have been saved, through faith and not by works so no one can boast’.  Grace means an unmerited, free and generous gift.  Being ‘saved’ is a gift God gives us.  Our responsibility is the same as any true gift we get – to receive, tear it open and say thank you by the way we enjoy and delight and use that gift.  It’s an insult if we start scrapping our pennies together to try and pay for it, especially if the gift is infinitely more costly that all our resources combined.  Thinking going to church or living well can earn to pay for that gift is scraping the pennies.

That doesn’t mean our church engagement and life decisions don’t matter.  They matter immensely – they show whether and how we have received that gift. 

How much money should a Christian give away to the church or other charities?

Often Christians automatically say 10%.  I’d gently challenge that.  It’s a figure taken from the Old Testament.  Yet there are actually three ‘tithes’ (a word that means one tenth) in the Old Testament.  Two where yearly and one every three years.  So actually if we use the regulations of the Old Testament we’d have a figure nearer 23-24%.  And then they were to run their businesses and farms in a way that allowed the poorer portion of society access both to provision and the dignity of work – i.e. to run their businesses not first for profit but first for people.  And they were also expected to give generously above this.  We even have records of their generosity being so abundant they were told to stop giving because the authorities and leaders couldn’t handle it all.  So there is a lot to learn from the Old Testament practice.  But 10% as a rule is not one of the things we are meant to learn.

It also lets richer folk of the hook – 10% is not great challenge.  And poorer folk feel guilty because they literally can’t afford 10%.

We need to see how the Old Testament principle of generosity is fulfilled in the New Testament.  There, for example 2 Corinthians 8-9 we are urged not to give to a certain standard or figure or percentage as our measure, but to give as measured against Jesus.  How generous was he?  Well he left the splendour of heaven to die a criminal!  How sacrificial was he?  Well he gave up his life for us.  So Christians are called to give like Jesus gave – sacrificial, generously, without cold or careful calculation.  For some that sacrificial giving could be just 2 or 5% (I think of the homeless man or the single mum) for another 50,60,70% (I think of the successful business person whose children are independent and mortgage paid off).  For most I think 10% is too low – for most it’s not like Jesus: sacrificially generous. 

And you guys need to start now.  No rubbish about student loans and no income.  Starts giving generously now.  Make it a habit.  Be like Jesus.  Doesn’t matter if it’s only a few pounds a week.  It’as more about your character and Christlikeness than the actual amount.  But if you don’t do it now you’ll battle later.  Jesus says ‘where you treasure is there your heart is also’.  Money signals and shapes our heart’s location – use your money to locate your heart in Jesus.  Now.  Start tomorrow giving generously.  Don’t pretend you’re still a child.  You’re not.  You’re adults.  Act like it with your money.  Give it away generously.  Like Jesus.

[There's a more detail post here: http://lionheartedandlamblike.blogspot.co.uk/2012/10/generous-how-much-money-should.html]